Teaching
Your Child Self-Defense When Your Child
Doesn't Want to Learn Self-Defense
http://kirkhamsebooks.com/MartialArts/MartialArtsArticles/TeachingYourChildSelfDefense.html
Like
most of you martial arts instructors and long term martial arts
practitioners, I began trying to teaching my child self-defense right
around the day he was born. Excitedly telling my wife how he sleeps
in the on-guard position and how his googling sounds like a kia.
I
began rough-housing with him almost as soon as he was able to start
playing with me. Tossing him gently (careful of his/her neck if you
play like that), at first, and reacting with great over-exaggeration
when he'd hit me.
My method of madness (madness according to
my wife) had (and still has) a purpose. Utilizing my physical
education, methods of teaching and behavior modification background,
I began teaching my son self-defense.
As of writing this
section of the article, the last time we "played Heeya" at
six years old Hunter ducked my swipe, punched me hard twice,
head-butted me in the gut. As I tried to sit on the couch feigning
injury (he knows when I'm faking) he jumped onto the couch on his
hands and knees and b-checked me onto the floor then jumped onto my
back ....A proud father laughed and made grunting sounds.
Here
are the principles I combined:
MAKE
IT FUN
I know some of you instructors don't
want to treat self-defense as a game, but it's a lot less of a game
than the two martial arts schools my family and I checked out. 90% of
the time was spent doing non-martial arts oriented relay races. About
the last 15 minutes of class was spent executing martial arts
oriented drills. As a physical educator I was appalled at the lack of
activity focus.
Okay done ranting. Martial arts can be fun.
Martial arts games can be played while still teaching the young
student the seriousness of what he/she is learning. I have yet to
have an incident wherein my son has hit another child. “Only do
this with daddy and people trying to hurt you or take you away son.”
Goes a lot further than some of you might think.
PROMOTING
WANTED ACTIONS WITH WANTED REACTIONS
By reacting
in a manner in which the child finds entertaining, you motivate the
child to continue to execute the wanted actions.
USE
A HOLISTIC METHOD OF TEACHING
Now before the
religious folks start worrying about what that means, all that means
is to start with what the child already does and refine it. Starting
with the part method of teaching would be counter-productive
especially in the area of motivation.
BE
FLEXIBLE
Remember anything you do with your child
and anywhere you do it can be a self-defense lesson and fun with a
little imagination. I can't tell you how many times I've embarrassed
my poor wife "playing" with my son in the checkout line at
Sam's Club.
GAMES
HEEYA
My son named the pretend fight game. I'd get into
an over-exaggerated fighting stance shouting heeeeeeeyaaaaaaa and
that's what he decided to call it. In the beginning, trying to just
get him to block and punch straight was tough so when he did that I
over-reacted to that falling down, pretending to be hurt, pretending
he stopped my punch.
As his skills improved I reacted less to
less correct movements. If he swung wildly for example I wouldn't
react. I might even tell him “punch straight son”. When
he did the more correct movement I over-reacted once again. Bending
over in great agony from his tremendous punch to my body. Jumping up
and down on one leg after a swift kick to my leg. As of the date of
writing this section he still needs work on his kicks. I'm still in
that over-reaction stage from just about anything he throws right now
with his legs or knees.
He Has Periods of Executing
Various Tactics
Presently as of writing this section he
likes to run into the kitchen, then charge me. I don't dissuade him
from this activity. I let him knock me down sometimes and we ground
fight. Sometimes I side-step and tap him with my foot. How is that
working out? Sometimes I run into the kitchen and charge him. He
side-steps me and executes one of his few kicks.
BED
HEEYA
Whatever the child wants to do is fine. It's
up to you to make a training session out of it. Sometimes my son
wants to play heeya on the bed. He ducks and slips my swipes and, on
his own, started dropping to his hands and knees on the bed and
head-butting me in the gut. I let him do this two or three times then
side-step and catch him before the hits the floor (don't be a moron
it's up to you if you want to do that I'm not telling you to) Often
I'll throw him onto the bed (see the previous parentheses). Sometimes
when he head-butts me or kicks I fall onto the bed. He'll either knee
drop me or kick me while he's standing.
This reminds me I
often tell people my job is to teach people to beat me up and of they
don't do a good enough job show them how to do it better. Try putting
that on a resume.
PILLOW HEEYA
Again named by my son and one of the few games I get to play
sitting down. On first glance this could seem like a waste of time,
but remember the bean bag drill in my martial art drills ebook
Bringing The Martial Artist out from Within? Similar idea. Just not
so many variations when you're "playing" with your child.
This time my son stands at a comfortable distance and we
throw two pillows at each other. If your child catches you off guard
don't get mad or even look upset. You want him to do that remember!
Motivate the action.
"OOF, good job son!"
Which
reminds me not to glance at the TV anyway unless the show comes back
on and we're just "playing" during commercials.
My
son tries to dodge or catch the pillows I'm winging at him pretty
good. Usually I throw one pillow then the other right after the first
so he has to stay well balanced and ready. Lately he's been wanting
to kick the pillow coming at him. Do I say no no just dodge? Of
course not! I throw them more toward his feet.
When I was
teaching martial arts full time as well as tutoring, I often didn't
have time to workout with anyone but my students. Because of this, my
physical skills began to decline. So I began placing myself in more
challenging situations with my own students. Sparring them with my
hands down and much closer to their striking range, for example,
forced me to continue to improve even with lower skilled level
students with which to train. Using this same method, when my son
throws his pillows at me I make sure I was in a more challenging
position to evade or catch the pillows. Forcing myself to move faster
with better reaction time. This method can apply to all your
"playing" and training situations.
HULA
JUMP
Doesn't help the boy too much but gives dad a
great strike taking workout. I was laying on the couch when some hula
dancers came on TV. Hunter climbed to the top of the back of the
couch and said,
"Mommy watch me do the hula jump!"
At which point he jumped off the back of the couch and landed
on my stomach (see the first set of parentheses). Don't worry, my
ebook on internal energy strikes has drills in it to teach you to
take strikes even better than you do now. I also have a downloadable
low cost video clip released on taking strikes and developing
reflexes to hit back even if you're hurt.
The one thing not
covered in the ebook or clip is how to take strikes while you're
laughing hysterically while looking up at your kid whose ready to
jump onto your gut.
CONCLUSION
The
point of all of this is to help you to think and create training
situations which may not exist during formal training in order to
improve your child's ability to defend himself/herself and to improve
your child's future love for martial arts.
Use your
imagination, think. You don't have to be in a training area to train.
You don't have to be lined up all in a row to train in the martial
arts and in self-defense. You can train anytime and anywhere you want
to with a little imagination.
For all kinds of martial arts
and self-defense drills see my printable ebook Bringing
the Martial Artist Out from Within
http://KirkhamsEbooks.com/MartialArts
My
family and I thank you for your support
Enjoy,
Rick
Sensei
J. Richard Kirkham B.Sc.
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